Big Day for N

First hair cut. Ever. And like the cheapo I am, I did it myself. It isn’t good, it isn’t bad. He just doesn’t have enough hair to make a disaster out of it.

Oh yes, I am

One of those scary kiasu parents, I mean. And to prove it, here is my newly devised schedule for the children. In technicolour, no less. So that every minute of the afternoon is packed with useful activity.

In search of me

I love dispensing advice, wanted or not. Truth is, I’m not asked for advice too often - my areas of specialization are after all relatively limited. That said, the question most frequently asked is what is it like to stay home? And my response always – it’s not for everyone, but it certainly works for me. I tell women considering staying home to care for children that the most important thing is to have a hobby. Something that keeps your brain alive and stimulated. Otherwise, childcare can be brain numbing, depending how involved a parent you are.

Happily, I dispense this advice. And unhappily, I’ve not stuck to it, especially over the past half year. This is why I continue to miss our days back in Hong Kong where I did actively pursue my hobby and where I had a life outside the children. Admittedly, it wasn’t exciting, but it did consist of doing stuff I like, including writing and pole dancing, among other things. Also, factors have not worked in my favour this past six months, including a debilitating first trimester, continued poor sleep since then (aches and pains galore), more illness than I care to discuss (kids and myself included), a new home environment and loads of other external factors. That said, I also happen to have had more help than I’ve ever had before, more mobility (CAR!!!) and more distraction for the children. So why it is that I have lost myself this past half year still isn’t immediately clear to me.

Anyway, I have now decided it is time to get out of the rut. Quit letting my circumstances rule me. I may be tired, but I have decided more exercise will help. The children are settled into schools and more importantly, into routines. I have a lot of paperwork to deal with (don’t ask), but I’ve decided that attacking my “work” a bit at a time each day will let me feel more in control.

Hopefully, with this new mindset, I can get back into what I used to love doing. Be it going out for dinners, watching performances, indulging in movies, meeting friends, and yes, getting back into writing. I still believe I have it in me somewhere and that if I could only harness my focus, I could get somewhere with it.  Waiting for the zest to write to return may mean never writing again, and besides, writing is so much more than just inspiration. 

I want very much to achieve something for myself, and not look back and wonder where all the time had gone. The children are important and I am an involved parent. But they cannot be my entire life. I refuse to let it be so.

Taking matters into her own hands

S’s obviously gotten tired of my promises to put her drawings up on my wall. This afternoon, armed with yet a new picture, of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, no less, she sweetly asked me where my Blu Tac was. Incidentally, she just discovered what Blu Tac is, having come home from school with a tiny pinch from the teacher yesterday. Well, walking into my bedroom this evening, I suddenly notice, lo and behold, we now have a picture of a T-Rex on pink construction paper, looming odiously over our bed. How’s that for room decor?

Baby

It is a sweet moment when my little one clambers onto my lap, tucks his head beneath my chin and rests solemnly against my chest, sucking his lower lip. And all too quickly, the moment disappears as he decides to wiggle off my lap, collapse onto the sofa and kick me real hard with those longer-than-I-remember legs before I can dodge, cackling as he goes.

Ah, my sweet baby. Soon you’ll be baby no more. Soon, you’ll be the proverbial Middle Child. Life’s tough, ain’t it?

Good news, bad news

The good news….

Singapore’s in for its first medal in 48 years. Silver no less. Ping pong no less. And who cares that our ladies’ table tennis team were all originally from China. So was I, give or take a few generations.

The bad news…

Warner Brothers is pushing back the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince till July next year. NOOOOOOoooooooo…….. seriously? Apparently so. The film was originally slated for November this year. What a bummer.

Look how she learns

S has gained tremendous confidence in water in recent weeks. Her aunt and family who are here visiting from Europe over their summer vacation have been taking her along on trips to the pool. They who get very little warm weather love to swim and our hot weather lures them to waters every second day or so.

I’ve been scratching my head, trying to figure out why is it my sister-in-law has been successful where I have not. I’ve been taking S to the pool myself, but had made little progress in making S more comfortable in water. And then it hit me. When S goes to the pool with her aunt, uncle and cousin, they just fool about in the water. When I take S to the pool, it’s all business. Let’s try to put your head in. Let’s try to blow bubbles. Let’s try to kick that leg properly.

I suppose it’s because that’s the way I learnt to swim. My parents didn’t swim, so I learnt through classes. It was all about proper strokes and doing laps. In fact, even now, I find fooling around in the pool a waste of time – I much prefer to be doing laps, because that, to me, is what going to the pool is for. I tend to get impatient with S when she fools about in the water, so I try to dump the “duty” of watching over her and N on D when we’re at the pool on the weekend.

But now I think I see the light. There is value in just playing around. In fact, when I think of S’s peers back in Hong Kong who are all proficient swimmers, it’s largely because these children are brought often to the pool, just to hang out. So they get used to it and gain confidence quickly. Even if they can’t do a proper stroke, they can all doggy paddle and tread water, which is all I’m really trying to achieve with S right now.

A simple lesson, but an important one. All too often I miss simple concepts like these. Just because I’m always in a rush to go somewhere and achieve something.

I know what I like

I was avidly watching swimming heats for the men’s 200m freestyle this evening. S comes along and asks for Playhouse Disney instead.

Me: No, I want to watch this. Mommy loves to watch swimming.

S: (pointedly) I love to swim, but I don’t like to WATCH swimming.

I suppose she means as opposed to her mother who likes to watch swimming but dreads to take the kids to the pool.

Oh, the good old days….

As you can tell, I’ve only just figured out how to post videos. Slow, yes, but hey, I’ve found some gems over time that I’ve wanted to share. And I’m sharing now. This one really brings back memories (thanks W for forwarding this to me ages ago), back in the day when I put S before the TV at 8am so that I could prepare her bento box for lunch. She’d watch NHK children’s programming for half an hour and this two-minute segment (Pitagora Suiichi) always baffled me. Still, it’s fun to watch it again. They do this in all sorts of settings, but the ninja one is really funny.

And here was S’s all-time favourite back then, from Inai Inai Baa!

I love this

I’d totally forgotten about this till I stumbled upon it somewhere this evening. I love this tune.