Yes, I am serious

There is something very therapeutic about filing. Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about filing. Again.

The fact is, I am truly my father’s daughter. There is no one else in the world I know who gets the same kind of satisfaction and pleasure from documentary order as I do than my dad. By the same token, unfiled paper makes me (and him) incredibly cranky.

Yesterday, I finally decided to tackle a huge mound of paper which has been sitting about collecting dust on my floor since our move home oh-so-many-many months ago. And while it is NOT critical AT ALL I put this huge stack of paper and letters into order, I decided to go ahead with it anyway. Just so that I could procrastinate on the real things I need to work on. Which are many, I may add.

And I am happy after a long night of filing yesterday. I have managed to tame much of the paper beast and to see them all hole-punched and neatly filed into colour coordinated files gives me so much happiness that I think I may be more than a little insane. Especially when there are so many things I could be doing with my time. Like sleeping.

Truly, I scare myself sometimes.

Disappointed

So I read somewhere today that the world would much prefer Obama gets voted in President. Little wonder. He can be many things, including an untested puppet head and a slick media conduit, but really, what is the alternative? An aging ranting old man and his clueless sidekick (“I live next to Russia so I have foreign policy experience”)?

Again, I would emphasize the US Presidential election is really not my cup of tea. Some of the blogs I frequent are American and most don’t talk much about politics. I mean, this are mostly mommy bloggers with big families. But I have been disappointed to find a couple have really taken to Sarah Palin. It really shouldn’t be a surprise to me – they are staunchly Christian and for all Sarah Palin’s failings on the international stage, she appears to be the stalwart of Christian values and big families. I mean, her youngest is a child born with Downs. So yes, she does represent the pro-life conservatives of America, but what I’m struggling with is why these people cannot see how leadership in America should be about so much more than just pro-life choices and Christian values? I don’t discount it is important in a government – I myself am not for abortion – but to allow these values to be the single biggest reason to vote the Republicans in? How about the economy? How about foreign policy? How about health care? What are these people thinking?

I saw this video and it is meant to scare people away from Obama. Admittedly, I do disagree with what he stands for in this, and that babies born alive after failed abortions deserve the right to live. But really, the pro-choice and pro-life debate shouldn’t be determining where leadership should lie. And this is the scary thing – there are enough myopic Americans to vote in the conservatives, even after the dire job W has done for the past eight years.

Scary thought. John McCain could be president and he could die in office. And then Sarah Palin, Hockey Clueless Mom, will be running a world superpower.

A thought

With Baby Number One, we were all worked up about The Birth. The Big Moment we would get to meet this strange little being growing in my tummy for so long. We were excited about the Moment. We never thought much beyond The Birth and now looking back, I realize how poorly prepared we were.

Now, with Baby Number Three, we’re not even thinking about delivery. Of course, we hope he pops with no trouble, but more importantly, we’re just wondering how to survive day-to-day. With a preschooler and a toddler added into the mix. We are lucky we aren’t outnumbered here, thanks to our helper and D’s mom. But still, I’m just wondering exactly how insane things are about to get.

The final stretch

I’m not really into the final stretch quite yet, but am getting there.

It hasn’t been easy, this pregnancy. It has been frought with curious ailments and endless exhaustion, poor sleep and even poorer hours spent awake. The latest in the long string of complaints has been a continuous, throbbing headache which originally had me panicked that I was so stressed, I was giving myself a migraine. Stressed due to various things going on, not least the realization that this baby is finally going to make an appearance REAL SOON, as well as the countless other things that go on in our daily lives. And why that should stress me beyond breaking point is really more a case of a perfect storm – too many things coming to a head at pretty much the same time.

So it panicked me, this headache, because it was debilitating. Throbbing to the point I couldn’t open my eyes. Panadol helped, but didn’t get rid of it. After several days like this (after ensuring my blood pressure hadn’t gone up and that I wasn’t in fact looking at preeclampsia, although the odds suggested it wasn’t anyway), I finally got round to learning the cause of my headache.

Acute sinusitus.

Yay.

Like one never realizes exactly how many cavities one has in one’s head, till one cavity (or more, in my case) gets all filled with pus.

Eeeeee-yew. That’s what I thought too. Even better – I got a close up view of all that grossness through the thrilling experience of a camera on a tube stuck up my nose.

Now, is that dignified or what?

Anyway, at this late stage, I’ve been assured antibiotics are fine. And I do need the antibiotics to rid those sinuses of the infection that’s got them filled with pus. And once that pus is gone, so will the headache.

Not pleasant, definitely, but it is a relief knowing the headache can be gotten rid off by medicine. 

So now as I slowly make it back to being primed and ready to pop, I am faced with other urgent issues. Like getting that damn crib ready and buying all that last minute stuff.

Yep, the final stretch. Here we go.

Ambivalence

That’s all I can think of when asked about how I feel about our upcoming arrival. I think I was only truly wishing to have my first child out of me in a hurry, while the second (and now the third) have largely been afterthoughts. As in, yeah, it’ll be nice not to have to lug this big tummy around with all its aches and pains and endless trips to the loo, but really, having the baby out does mean a lot more hard work, sleepless nights, endless feeds and overall exhaustion. Not to mention the other two little persons that require attention around here (and of course, totally disregarding any big person that may need my attention).

I was at the doctor’s a few days ago and since I don’t keep count myself, she did me the favour of recalculating the days and letting me know exactly how far along I am. Also, I visited a girlfriend this morning who just added a third child to her household. Upon witnessing what it is like to have a newborn once more around the house, I am suddenly struck by how little I’ve thought about the baby thus far. And the fact that our current conditions are very different from my last two deliveries. Firstly, I’ve got more little people around to figure out. Secondly, I don’t have my mom with me. Now, no offence to my mother-in-law, who will be the one to help me this time, but it’s really not like having your own mom, if you know what I mean.

And so, with the few weeks left, and the endless happy reminders I keep getting from everyone from my doctor to my mother to the random person in the lift, that third babies come very fast and that I’d probably have the baby dropping out of me by the time I get to hospital, I am now forced to deal with the fact that THIS CHILD IS COMING, whether I’m ready or not. It is therefore time to stop ignoring the fact that I will soon not be pregnant and that I will soon have three, not two, little persons to cater to.

First step has been to ask our helper to unpack all the baby things. Next step will be to clear out that huge mound of paper and files in my room to make space for a crib. And then, the rest can slowly fall into place. There is time still, mind you. It’s just that I think I needed these last few days to remind me to quit stalling since there’s really no way to stall this baby from making an appearance.

D asked me about names the other night. Dammit. Haven’t thought about that one too. Poor kid. Such an afterthought in his parents’ busy lives.